Perception: The recognition and interpretation of sensory stimuli based chiefly on memory. "We don't see things as they are, we see them as we are." - Anais Nin. However, when faced with a barrage of challenges, there's a natural and powerful force that can suck you into themes and memories of the masses (fear, pessimism, misery) instead of your own. Be aware and think it through. Also, it might be time to create some new memories.
When you expand your thoughts and experiences, your perceptions will follow. A delightful illustration: Mark Twain, when 14, wrote that he thought his father was so ignorant that he could hardly stand to have him around. He added "When I got to be 21, I was astonished at how much he had learned in 7 years." Pause to process . . . now, fast forward 7 years. Does today look different?
It's also effective to gain perspective by stepping outside and looking in. Here is an exercise designed to open the eyes of those sporting rose colored glasses as well as those donning double eye patches. All the world's a stage! Pretend for a paragraph that you are watching a play of your life. Is it a comedy, drama, tragedy? How long has this play been running? Is it successful? How many acts and scenes are there? Are the original actors still performing? Are they any good? What is the setting? What is your role?
- Stage LEFT! You havfe bowed out and rejoined the audience to watch and critique.
- Behind the Scenes: You work hard, receive recognition . . . or feel burned out, bored, and unappreciated.
- Supporting Role: You are satisfied but keep your eyes open for your big break.
- Lead Actor: You are the center of attention and not really concerned with much else. Reviews are good and you're rockin'!
- Director/Producer: You are in charge, calling the shot, and coordinating all the pieces and players.
The curtain closes. In any event, whether you pretend or act, you enrich and enliven your experiences. Then, when faced with opportunities to "keep it in perspective", you will have that many more costumes, themes, sets, and lines to chose from. "Whether you think you are (optimistic, happy, fulfilled) or that you are not, you are usually right." Act 1, Scene 1 . . . the curtain rises.
Time's a Tickin': "1st rule of holes. When you're in one, quit digging." Ever waste time complaining, commiserating, and repeating scenes gone awry ad nauseum?
- Deal with conflicts ASAP. Write (even if you don't send), call, email then let it go. It will release the tension. Often it is you who suffers while the other sits clueless.
- Focus on your message and be satisfied with your effort regardless of the reply.
- Establish a plan for behaving and responding in the future and give yourself a break.